The "Who" in Who Cares

I feel...

My head's about to explode...

As the days pass by, more thoughts came to mind...

More problems than answers...

I'm sick and tired of all this...

Because as far as I'm concered, things will never go my way...

At all...

Maybe I'll just end it...

Now that's what I would have said when about as close to ending Cobi's life. But since I'm still sane enough to type these words, might as well look on the bright side. Heck, I've been trying so frickin' hard, but still. Maybe I just think too much, maybe worry too much? Try too hard?It may be nothing to you but somebody's problem. But this will dictate my life from here on end. And these words of mine are as serious as I can make it. If fate would not want me to become a doctor, if fate would not let me be were I want to be, then I have failed. Screwed myself royally, big-time.

All or nothing, and I still haven't got that___________life.

Lord, give me strength, 'cause I'm slowly losing it, losing all hope.

Damn. I know I can through this. Heck, why am I even typing this crap? I got a story to tell.

So there was this kid, who had little or no classes left. With his pals still busy, he decided to go on an adventure. Someone was supposed to accompany him, but then she had to do some other things. So he went alone. He waited for a ride. Rode on it. Took off when he got there. He walked a little bit. But it was hot, so he sweated, but just a little bit. What he saw was awesome. You think he left the country and went to new lands. It was all still familiar, but he knew that the place was totally different. He would have stayed a bit longer. But then he got hungry. So, he stopped wandering around and ate somewhere near by. He ate good, healthy food, the kind that your mother would nag you to finish so you could have a nice body. He became full, so he wandered around some more. He could have wandered all day if he hadn't remembered that he had a purpose, so he stopped wandering and returned to the real world. He returned to what he left behind, problems, friends, all that jazz. He wished that he was somewhere else again.

Been to IRRI today, way cool. Their cafeteria, I mean. In all my months here in BPR (buko pie republic a.k.a. UPLB a.k.a. University of the Philippines Los Baños a.k.a. pwede na a.k.a. bwiset a.k.a. look! a letter ñ!). It was like, there's local food, and there was foreign food because there were local people and foreign people. Food's cheap, but you would've thought the rice was very cheap there since the place makes their own rice. But P9! It's like almost buying an ice cream cone, a cup of taho, or a piece of turon! Cripes! All the exclamation points! Anyways, I plan to go back there and take pictures. But I think that's not allowed. It's not nice to reveal rice secrets to the world, Nuh-uh. So how come I got a couple of them in the cam? Hmmm...Show you next time.

Summer's in, school's out. Where will you be? Me, I'll be in my room, contemplating, reminiscing, or just plain sleeping. Money's crap, crap become money. World's F*CKED up. But we'll be fine. We always we'll be. We like frickin' coachroaches, you know. Hard to eliminate.

Son of a booger! Typing a blog while there is a list of things to do!

THINGS TO DO:
-study for 5 exams
-do 3 lab exercise
-do 1 special project
-cry in agony

Anyways, been to the brother's graduation in the brothers' school where I was once part of the brother system. We were all brother, except for the female teachers, who were the mothers in school (or maybe even the school hag). School still looked good...and expensively made. Goes to show you that we had our money's worth studying there, I think. I like it there, to tell you the truth. Got to learn real values, got to hang out with whoever you want to be with. Did stuff that would be good topics in reunions. It was fun. Me thinks that the batches today are much better, though. Look at my younger bro's family day. They got La Salle jackets. Friggin' jackets! What did WE get during our time? I dunno, maybe it was a loot bag or something. See, it wasn't even worth remembering! But maybe that is also why I pity them. Am not sure, but from what I can observe they have it too good. What if they get out of that comfort zone that is LSGH? Would they still be capable of functioning? I just feel that the students are getting more pampered as time goes on. As I think about it, I feel a bit of regret of not taking the CAT during my last year in high school. Even if it was all that, the sweat the marching the uniformity, I think it would have been best if they retained it. They changed it with college review sessions, which I think didn't make much of a difference. Oh well, I'm just rambling again...


Ramble, ramble, ramble....



Got the different cable for the cam. Now I can't upload the pictures. Now, I can't do the special project. Now, I am just staring at the computer, doing nothing.

(PAUSE)

Hello again! Took just 30 minutes to get back to you. Looked at wrestling sites, some university stuff...and again I'm bored to death. Me flash disk's not working in this friggin' computer. Anak ng pwet...

Brought to you from the cold, icy recesses of the computer room in the new dormitory (est. 2003).

Had to cut short. Those network junkies can really howl up a storm......
And so does it begins here as well, but with just one mouth to supply all that noise. Typing really fast to avoid being seen by him. He's a friend but can be as loud as a phonograph They can really berate like crazy.

Gotta go again. He's glancing here.

Now the chick is all being playful and stuff. And she's not even hot. Grow up, I say, in my head of course.

Wished I watched the second episode of Lost. Heck, I wish to see the 2nd season in one day!

Wished I watched the Bahrain Grand Prix. Wished I saw Alonso win by 1.something seconds over Schumi. Wish to see a live race. Wish to be Hefner. Asar! Kung kelan ka nanonood ng Telly, di mo napapanood yung mga paborito mong programa. Para bang pag-uwi mo, pinapakita na lang ang mga credits ng "The Simpsons." Kalokohan.

Hirap magsulat ng sulat, kung tutuusin. Eto pa naman ang sulat na pwedeng magpabago sa buhay ko. Hay, buhay...

Babu!

I can't get no satisfaction.

The days are winding down, with exams from left to right. I'm in front of a computer, typing absolutely nothing but rubbish, and I feel like fungus. Why wrote? Coz I feel like doing it, dammit.

Have you ever realized that food is just so amazing? It makes you full, makes you grow, it helps pass the time. Heck, it actually sustains our very existence as living, breathing, human beings. But with all the things we do with food (eat it, play with it, hurl it a s projectiles, use it as carriers of poisons, etc.), there are so many mysteries that are still left unsolved, more facts left buried. Like one time, I was like in McDonald's, I just found out that besides burger mcdo, they also have plain hamburger...Weird, but true. I was kinda hungry, and seeing that my funds are short, but had a craving for fatty, capitalist-made, processed food, I went to McDo. I ordered a burger, the cheapest. When I got my order, something struck me. The wrapper was all different, the writings, just "hamburger." I was intrigued. The mind took notes. The burger mcdo has this kind of sauce, while a hamburger just has ketchup in it. The hamburger has this 1 pickle, while the burger mcdo had none, I think.You realize this sort of info when you have little dough. This sort of enlightenment may be at par with knowing the purpose of life and all the deep shit.

Also got a chance to eat frog. So the idiom was true. They do taste like chicken, in a jumpy sort of way. They're also very small, very lean compared to chicken. So you're like picking on thin sticks with meat on them. Naka-adobo pa yun ah. Astig. I dunno.

Gotta cut this short, be back later.

This is for you, man!

Just came from a very something-something weekend. Two weeks na lang, for corn's sake! Two weeks til a new season of sun and sand! Bilis!

Happy Birthday to the many March celebrants. Never knew we were so many in this world. Happy birthday tita, the seafood was great. Happy birthday and thanks Jay-Ar, your house changed a lot since I last saw it. Nice to see that the the only thing that changed is our looks! Saw a lot of good looking people as well. Haha! Happy birthday Sam Milby. Gimik tayo next week. Wahaha!Sam Milby daw oh...

So so so so so soso so. Okay, what to talk about...OH! How about a commuting experience? You see, for those who still don't know it, I study in UPLB, LB, as in Los Banos. Di pwedeng uwian ara-araw. Kalokohan yon! (except for this one guy who does, LB to Paranaque and vice-versa) So I dorm here in Buko Pie republic. I do go home for the weekends, though. This gave me a chance to enhance my commuting skills and had actually travelled long distances for the reasons not being for vacation, every week. (info: I used this topic on a concept paper, wala lang) Anyways, during the weekend, I'm in Manila to eat home cooking and sleep on my comfy bed, excepy on some given occasions when there's a weekend project to be doen, or just feel to lazy to ride a bus.Getting lazy again with this one. So long story short, I ride a jeep, a bus, a mega taxi fx, the mrt and use my own two feet to travel back in forth my school and my house. It can take as short as an hour and a half, or as long as four hours. Ah, to sacrifice for one's studies. Is it honorable? Is it plain stupid, or is it just me? I dunno...

Forgot to point out one memorable trip where the man beside me on the bus is an old man who was sleeping with his mouth open. I pictured him for no reason, with the camera on my phone. He looks like a good face to draw. That same bus contained a Denise, a Diane, and a Jay, a friend, a classmate, and a dormmate. What are the odds?!But never did seat with any of them. Dunno why. Anyways, on the MRT, there was this guy besides me who looks like Mike Enriquez. For real! The guy got the nose, the height, the facial marks, the works! I was like, "I'm gonna ask him if he's Mr. Imbestigador or not," but let me see you do that and feel like an idiot.But the idea stuck to my head. I decided, if he's going to go down on GMA-KAMUNING, I'm totally gonna lose all tact and ask the guy. Unfortunately, he went down on SHAW. Aw...pity.

Watched Memoirs. Ziyi Zhang got the face and the body, but not the vocabulary. OK lang, maganda naman e. Hehe...

May the horse be with you!

Just a few weeks til the only time we're only free (figuratively), summer!

Pumunta ako sa isang manghihilot kaninang umaga dahil wala lang. Kasama ko mga kapatid, nanay, pinsan, at tita ko (malaki talaga pamilya namin). Sa totoo lang, sumasakit ang kanang bahagi ng likod ko ( balikat ba yon?) kapag sinestretching ang aking kanang braso. Nung nag swimming ako dun sa Zambales kamakailan lang, ginagawa ko yung freestlye. Nasobrahan lang sa "stroke," bigla na lang tumunog ang likod ko, para bang may naputol na sanga ng puno. Daming beses na nangyari sakin to, para bang nabalian ng buto pero hindi naman tumatagal. Balik sa manghihilod. Kakilala pala siya ng aking pumanaw na lolo, kaya naintidihan kong matanda na siya. Mabait naman ang kanyang pakikitungo sa amin. Natandaan ko tuloy lola ko. Marami ding nagpapatingin don, daming matanda at makulit na bata. Aga pa naman ng gising ko, wala lang. Nakasanayan na. Ayon, naghintay kami ng hindi kumulang na trenta minuto. Halos bumabagsak na ulo ko non eh. Buti na kami na yung sumunod. Ibang klase rin naman yung paraan nang kanyang pagsusuri. Nakasulat yung pangalan namin sa isang papel na may agwat sa bawat pangalan. Ang kanyang "diagnosis" ay simple lang. Tatanugin niya kung sino yung nakasulat. Syempre, nung tinawag yung pangalan ko, tinaas ko kamay ko, tila isang masunuring bata. Tapos non, ginuhitan niya yung spasyo sa ilalim ng pangalan namin ng tuloy-tuloy. Mga scribbles, ovals, parang gumagawa ng penmanship exercise. Habamg ginagawa niya ito, binibigay niya yung kanyang opinyon. Sakin, simple lang. Maysakit yung tiyan ko, umiwas sa bentilador, wag uminom ng malamig. Kaya pala di ako makadumi. Baho pa ng tot-u ko. Aynako! Tapos, ginawa ang aktwal na hilod. Sandali lang, hindi nga umabot ng limang minuto eh. Pero ibang klase rin yun nangyari. Napatunog niya yung likod ko. Iba feeling! Parang jigsaw puzzle na naayos yung likod ko. Kakaiba talaga.

Malas nga lang yung pinsan ko. Di ko alam kung kulam ba yon o ano, pero parang nasabihan siya ng masama ng isang tao, hindi engkanto. Tinapat lang yung bond paper sa mukha niya, nagkaroon ng para bang sillouhette (?) ng mukha ng babae dun sa papel. Meron naman akong nakita, pero di ako sigurado kung yun nga yon. Baka matsa lang. Pero nakita nila eh. So baka meron nga. Yan tuloy, pinabili pa siya ng palayok na may takip sa taas. Meron daw dapat siyang gawin dun sa palayok ng isang linggo tapos kelangan niyang bumalik doon. Hirap nga lang mamy konting pagkalayo sa amin yung lugar.

Di naman ako yung tipon naniniwala kagad sa mga ganitong klase ng gawain. Pero di naman sarado ang aking isipan sa mga ganito. Ang mundo ay marami pa ring mga misteryo na hindi maipaliwanag ng ng siyensya. Kung di man kayo sang-ayon sa mga ganito, bigyan na lang natin sila ng tamang respeto na nararapat.

Whew! Sarap gamitin ang sariling wika. Nakakataba ng puso (at ng dila)!

March na! So?

The live show really was worth the savings I used and the time I've waited just to see it. Watched it with my bros. They liked it as well, save for my big brother who didn't liked it as much cause he prefers play-by-play commentary. More entertainment than I would've like, less wrestling than I could have hoped for, but it was the BEST!!!

Wow! Birthday ko na bukas! Happy Birthday to me! So what do I wish for?
-that we just all get along
-that I get to watch Lost season 2
-see me in a beach sometime soon
-that things go back to the way they were
-that I could finally update the fotki
-transfer to that other UP (if God allows it, or if I get over Math14, Crsc1, Ansc1, heck! All of it!)
-save the money for sandals
-F____________________e.
-the Philippines become the world's leading superpowers! (wishful thinking...)

Happy birthday to other March celebrants! Init ng panhon ng kaarawan natin, no?

Just been browsing other blogs of my friends and classmates (former and current). Very interesting. Some blogs never get updated anymore. But when they do update it, they start by saying something like, "Wow, it's been months since I've made an update!", or "Sorry if I didn't put anything up lately. I was busy eh." Don't get me wrong. I've put similar words in the past that, when I think about it, do I really have to? I mean, does anyone visit this place besides me?Don't think so. This has been more of an experience of keeping my thoughts in the web, aplace to say what I want to say even if no one wants to hear about it. It's nice when somebody visits this, but i'm not expecting to get hits every second of the day. A piece of advic to other bloggers: avoid starting your entry with the examples given above. It's just not right.

It's really hard to type an entry in a computer shop. It tends to get crowded when people who want to play watch you type. But I guess its okay if a girl's butt often hits you while you type. A pretty girl's butt. Kinda fragrant. Waha!