The "Who" in Who Cares

I feel...

My head's about to explode...

As the days pass by, more thoughts came to mind...

More problems than answers...

I'm sick and tired of all this...

Because as far as I'm concered, things will never go my way...

At all...

Maybe I'll just end it...

Now that's what I would have said when about as close to ending Cobi's life. But since I'm still sane enough to type these words, might as well look on the bright side. Heck, I've been trying so frickin' hard, but still. Maybe I just think too much, maybe worry too much? Try too hard?It may be nothing to you but somebody's problem. But this will dictate my life from here on end. And these words of mine are as serious as I can make it. If fate would not want me to become a doctor, if fate would not let me be were I want to be, then I have failed. Screwed myself royally, big-time.

All or nothing, and I still haven't got that___________life.

Lord, give me strength, 'cause I'm slowly losing it, losing all hope.

Damn. I know I can through this. Heck, why am I even typing this crap? I got a story to tell.

So there was this kid, who had little or no classes left. With his pals still busy, he decided to go on an adventure. Someone was supposed to accompany him, but then she had to do some other things. So he went alone. He waited for a ride. Rode on it. Took off when he got there. He walked a little bit. But it was hot, so he sweated, but just a little bit. What he saw was awesome. You think he left the country and went to new lands. It was all still familiar, but he knew that the place was totally different. He would have stayed a bit longer. But then he got hungry. So, he stopped wandering around and ate somewhere near by. He ate good, healthy food, the kind that your mother would nag you to finish so you could have a nice body. He became full, so he wandered around some more. He could have wandered all day if he hadn't remembered that he had a purpose, so he stopped wandering and returned to the real world. He returned to what he left behind, problems, friends, all that jazz. He wished that he was somewhere else again.

Been to IRRI today, way cool. Their cafeteria, I mean. In all my months here in BPR (buko pie republic a.k.a. UPLB a.k.a. University of the Philippines Los Baños a.k.a. pwede na a.k.a. bwiset a.k.a. look! a letter ñ!). It was like, there's local food, and there was foreign food because there were local people and foreign people. Food's cheap, but you would've thought the rice was very cheap there since the place makes their own rice. But P9! It's like almost buying an ice cream cone, a cup of taho, or a piece of turon! Cripes! All the exclamation points! Anyways, I plan to go back there and take pictures. But I think that's not allowed. It's not nice to reveal rice secrets to the world, Nuh-uh. So how come I got a couple of them in the cam? Hmmm...Show you next time.

Summer's in, school's out. Where will you be? Me, I'll be in my room, contemplating, reminiscing, or just plain sleeping. Money's crap, crap become money. World's F*CKED up. But we'll be fine. We always we'll be. We like frickin' coachroaches, you know. Hard to eliminate.